Dear Friends,

In 1990, United Airlines ran a 60-second commercial that has stuck with me for every one of the 35 years since it first appeared. It begins in what seems to be a conference room. A group of men dressed in shirts and ties, some with jackets on, some without, have gathered. They’re standing around, waiting.

Into the room walks a slightly balding man. He begins his speech with these words, “I got a phone call this morning from one of our oldest customers. He fired us. After 20 years, he fired us. Said he didn’t know us anymore. I think I know why. We used to do business with a handshake, face-to-face. Now it’s a phone call and a fax. ‘I’ll get back to you later.’ With another fax probably. Well, folks, something’s got to change…”

You can watch the ad on YouTube:

I suppose I should mention that phone calls and faxes were state-of-the-art technology in those days. Zoom and email have replaced them as communication tools, along with texting, and Facebook, Snapchat, and TikTok. Really- what would we do without them?

But nothing can replace meeting with another person face-to-face—“doing business with a handshake”—and that’s especially true of a church. Sure, we can efficiently communicate with a lot of people with an eNewsletter like this one. But electronic communication will never replace sitting down with another person over a cup of coffee or a beer and getting to know them better. It’s all about relationships.

That’s what many of you said when you completed the Church Assessment Test (CAT) Survey last fall. Some of you felt like missing sheep and wondered why a shepherd hadn’t left “the ninety and nine” and come looking for you. Many hoped that St. Paul’s would create more opportunities for people to form meaningful relationships. Other responses made it clear that it’s all about relationships (redundancy intended!).

So, don’t be surprised if a member of the Vestry approaches you in church and asks if you’d be willing to meet for a one-on-one conversation. If this were an ideal world—or at least an ideal congregation—every person at St. Paul’s would feel known and valued, whether they’d been part of the community for 40 years or a fortnight.

Vestry members may be calling you up and setting up an individual meeting with you—perhaps going to your home or meeting you for coffee and listening to you. They will ask you what you think about the community or congregation or country. They will want to understand how you see the future, hearing what hopes and dreams you have, learning where you’ve come from.

Two final things:

1. This is not about money. That’s not the purpose of these conversations. No one will be asked for a dollar or a dime.

2. You don’t have to wait for a Vestry member to approach you. Just contact the Parish Office and ask to be contacted.

I believe with all my heart that relationships within the church are not merely social connections—they are spiritual bonds that reflect the relationship between Christ and his Church. St. Paul’s is a living, breathing community, bound together by faith and a shared mission. We hope that these one-on-one meetings will deepen our common life.

Blessings,

Stephen Applegate