by The Reverend T.J. Freeman SMMS
Beginning in November of last year, we hosted a series of cottage meetings; by the end of May there were nearly 20 meetings and over 200 hundred people who attended.
The primary question of each gathering was “What do I need to know as your new Rector?” Each group took this question in a different direction—no two conversations were the same, though there were major themes that flowed throughout.
You may recall that in the announcement for these gatherings, I noted that these conversations were about building relationships more than they were about gathering information. The information that I learned is wonderful and useful, but the pearl of great price from the Gatherings is the community and relationships that were built.
My heart was so full after being able to sit with you in your living rooms, at Judson, or at the parish—our time together was, and continues to be, a joy and a blessing. It is my hope to be able to hold more of these in the future, though likely with a more informal structure.
Below are the eight major themes that arose, ranked in order of frequency of mention/discussion.
I do want to note that I used AI software to assist me in the analysis of the pages and pages of notes that were taken during our conversations. It is also worth knowing that I am presenting these without editorial comment, which is a risk, I ask you to read these charitably and with an open mind.
Major Themes
1. Service Structure and Attendance
This is the single most recurring topic. Nearly every gathering raised the imbalance between the 9 a.m. service (heavily attended, 110–200 people) and the 11:15 a.m. service (smaller, 75–90). Multiple groups floated combining the two later Sunday morning services into one or moving to two morning services plus a Sunday evening/afternoon option.
2. Youth and Family Ministry
Nearly universal enthusiasm about visible growth in young families and Sunday School (40–50 kids at the 9 a.m. service, 140 on the rolls), paired with real anxiety about retention infrastructure: no dedicated youth minister, clergy turnover (“revolving door”) cited repeatedly as a cause of disengaged teens, a shrinking acolyte program, and a perception that music/choir programs skew toward girls, leaving fewer entry points for boys once their voices change. Competing Sunday commitments (youth sports) were also named as eating into participation.
3. Music Program
Consistently named a top strength, “world class,” a major draw, foundational to worship. A timely question is how would a combined service affect our Senior and Youth Choirs. This requires careful and thoughtful planning.
4. Outreach: Breadth vs. Depth
A recurring critique, phrased almost identically across multiple gatherings (“miles wide and a few inches deep,” “at a three-foot level,” “not into the nitty-gritty”)—the parish supports many outreach efforts but few with real hands-on depth. Suggestions included a food pantry, more organized responses to poverty/homelessness, better promotion of existing ministries, an East Side collaborative among nearby Episcopal parishes, and a collective investment fund for less-resourced parishes.
5. Formation and “Going “Deeper”
Several groups explicitly asked for stronger, more theologically substantive formation opportunities. There was a desire to engage with current events in formation and in sermons (without being overtly political).
6. Pastoral Care and Belonging
Multiple gatherings raised gaps in care for older/homebound members (loss of Stephen’s Ministry, missed visits), and a related “belonging” theme: newcomers and returning members sometimes feel they have to “be perfect,” young adults without kids feel the culture is too family-centric, and empty-nesters want more engagement options.
7. Communication and Institutional Memory
A steady undercurrent: decisions (program cuts, service changes) are made without adequately explaining the “why,” ministries aren’t well promoted internally, and there’s uneven awareness of what’s even happening.
8. Political and Theological Diversity
Several groups explicitly discussed how the parish should (or shouldn’t) address social/political issues from the pulpit. The Rector’s consistent position: the Gospel challenges both left and right, and his job is to keep a politically diverse congregation together rather than take sides—though a few parishioners want more explicit engagement with social issues.
Recurring Questions:
- Should the 9 a.m. and 11:15 a.m. services be combined, or should a Sunday evening service be added?
- What should happen to the acolyte program, and can it be rebuilt?
- Is the endowment being used wisely—could it fund a youth minister or more imaginative programming?
- Does our work around racial reconciliation and racial healing hold up through the lens of our Baptismal Covenant and the Social Gospel?
- How does St. Paul’s engage with the world and modern politics?
- What is St. Paul’s outreach actually accomplishing, and is effort spread too thin?
- How does St. Paul’s attract and retain young adults (30s–40s) and college-age members, especially those without children?
Where do we go from here?
My sense is that most of the above will not be too surprising to you, listening to you is how we gained this information. However, I find that it is often useful to have a place to discuss information corporately.
On Sunday, September 20, I will host the Rector’s Forum in Tucker Hall at 10 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. (so those who have obligations at 10 will have a chance to attend). I will facilitate discussion, share some thoughts that have arisen from my conversations with the Vestry and Staff, and provide an opportunity for us to chat in person. These conversations will not be recorded, so I encourage you to join us in person that day.
Pax et bonum,
The Rev’d T.J. Freeman SMMS
17th Rector, Saint Paul’s Episcopal Church
